I don’t remember the first time that I was told to cross my legs, but I am fairly sure that it was during Sunday church service. I was probably wearing a scratchy dress and most likely didn’t have boobs yet.

But still, because I was wearing a dress, I was told to cross my legs.

And somewhere along the way, it didn’t matter if I was wearing a dress or not. It was just really important for me to cross my legs, even in pants. In heels. In flats. At the office. At dinner.

It didn’t matter anymore. I had a vagina and therefore was required to cross my legs.

Well, I’m here to tell you…

It’s been almost three years since Meghan Markle officially became a member of the Royal Family. Three years that she describes as “unsurvivable.” Three years of smiling and waving and pretending it was all okay.

When I watched Oprah interview Meghan Markle, I watched a woman who was finally breathing a sigh of relief. There on camera, while the world watched, we finally got to hear her side of the story.

And her side of the story should make us take a long, hard look at ourselves.

For years, we have read and bought into headlines like:

1. “Why Can’t Meghan Markle Keep Her Hands Off Her Baby Bump?”
2. “Royal Wedding: How Meghan Markle’s flowers may have…

Let’s be honest. Not everyone in our lives are experts on sex.

We all had that friend whose older sister or brother told them a sex lie that we believed. “Did you know that if you have sex with more than five people, you’ll die?”

Not all of us had the best of sex educations. (Looking at you, Catholic School.) And some of the sex myths we believed in our youth have never been debunked.

When it comes to sex, we should not take everyone’s advice.

Here are just a few examples of some poor sex advice that we definitely need to ignore.

Abstinence is the only way to prevent pregnancy and STDs

As a woman — especially one raised in…

I watched the Britney Spears documentary this week. I’m still shaken up by it. Britney was a huge part of my high school experience. I remember seeing Crossroads. I remember seeing her in concert and singing along to “Drive Me Crazy.”

And now, after this documentary, I realize that I didn’t know her at all.

I had no idea how much manipulation and misogyny she was subjected to. I just listened to the music and went on my way. All the while, she was poked and prodded and misused.

The “Framing Britney Spears” documentary is on Hulu now. I highly recommend watching it. But, if you want a round-up of some of the most…

Are you ready to talk about your sex drive?

If you’re reading this, you are probably thinking your sex drive could be higher. Or maybe you have a super high sex drive and you are here to gloat.

Either way, our sex drives are a pretty big deal.

There were so many things that I didn’t know about my sex drive. Like, why is it so high in my thirties? (Spoiler alert: this is totally a thing.)

So, let’s dive into this together.

Women may have their highest sex drives in their 30s and 40s.

Good news, ladies. We peak later in life. Can I get a round of applause?

Our sex drives are very much influenced by testosterone. (We’ll get to…

Roxane Gay is an author, professor, and according to her bio, she wants a tiny baby elephant. I first found her through her book of essays, Bad Feminist, and then went down the rabbit hole of her amazingness.

Roxane Gay is a feminist must-read.

As someone with an eating disorder, I connect to Roxane Gay’s language about her body and her compulsive eating. She speaks truth to experiences of bodies who are not the culture-approved small.

She’s also black, bisexual and sex-positive.

Feminists everywhere, listen up. Here’s a round-up of Roxane Gay quotes you need in your life. (Then, when we’re done, go read her books.)

On Being a Feminist

…

Sex can be weird.

Let’s be honest about this, okay? Think about some of the most cringe-worthy moments you’ve had during sex. For example, when I lost my virginity, my boyfriend had told me he was bigger than most.

He was not wrong. It hurt like hell.

We can have awkward sex moments with a brand new partner or with someone we’ve been with for years. I used to think these moments would kill the mood — or worse — the potential future of a relationship.

But, the good news is awkward moments are all about the way you react…

I’ve been thinking a lot about my future lately.

Last year, I think many of us had a hard time thinking about what the future might look like. I was scared. I didn’t know if my loved ones — my immunocompromised dad especially — would even have a future.

But now, there’s a shred of hope. A vaccine on the way.

So, I am starting to think of what tomorrow might look like. I’m picturing my wedding. I’m imagining life as a full-time writer.

And now, I’m writing letters to my future daughter.

Here is why I wrote this letter.

I have been writing a lot of…